Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Unique Daily Jokes



Life is hard isn't? So, why don't you take a break and relax for a moment. Read some jokes that makes you smile and laugh. Then you realized, one smile or laugh would lift up your mood and you'll be ready for next activities.....


Ticket Excuse

A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit.  He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks "I can outrun this guy," so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway.... 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy figures he can't outrun the cop and gives up.  He pulls over to the curb.

The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car. He leans down and says "Listen mister, I've had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home.  Give me a good excuse and I'll let you go."
The man thought for a moment and said, "Three weeks ago, my wife ran off with a police officer.  When I saw your cruiser in my rear view mirror, I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me! Hahahahaha......


A Boy and a Frog

One day, a boy was walking down a road when a frog called to him,

"Boy, if you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess."

The boy picked up the frog, smiled at it, then placed the frog into his pocket.

A few minutes later, the frog said, "Boy, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I will stay with you for a week."

The boy took the frog from his pocket, smiled at it, then put it back into his pocket.

A few minutes later, the frog said,

"Boy, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,

I will do ANYTHING you want!"

The boy took the frog from his pocket, smiled, and put it back.

Finally, the frog cried, "Boy, what is the matter, I have told you that I am a beautiful princess, and if you kiss me, I will stay with you and do ANYTHING you want!"

The boy took the frog from his pocket and said,
"Look, I am an engineering student, I have no time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool!"


Four Letter Words

A young couple got married and went on a cruise for their honeymoon.

When they got back home the bride immediately called her mom, who lived three hours away.

"Well, darling," said her Mom, "How was your honeymoon?"

"It was wonderful, and so romantic. We had a great time," said the bride, but as soon as we got home he started using really horrible language. Words I have never heard before. Really

horrible four-letter words! You've got to come get me...PLEASE."

Then the bride began to sob over the phone.

"PLEASE, mom come get me!" begged the bride.

"But honey what did he say, what 4-letter words, you have to tell me what's troubling you," said her mom.
Still sobbing the bride said to her mother..."Words like....DUST, IRON, COOK, WASH!"

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